Time to Switch to Decaff
by Sarcastic Spirit
Summary: A pleasant dream takes a turn for the worst when Archie finds himself facing not his long-time love Atlanta, but several other faces who don't quite seem themselves...


Warning: This is a dream, so it will be filled with weirdness, messy scene changes and OOCness. This isn't because of careless writing, it's because dreams are weird and don't always make sense.

Disclaimer: I do not own CotT, Monty Python, Hercules, 'I've Got a Dream', 'Animal', or 'Le Freak'

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Archie found himself running in a field, though why he didn't know. The sun illuminated the clear blue sky and the grass was soft and fresh beneath his feet. The most beautiful sight though was in front of him; a slim girl with hazel eyes and vibrant red hair smiled back at him as a laugh like music escaped her lips.

"C'mon Arch! I'll race you to the lake!" She took off like a gazelle, her long white dress not hindering her movement at all. Normally Archie would have wondered why Atlanta was in a dress, because that was a bit strange, but the thought didn't even cross through Archie's mind.

The warrior sprang after the huntress, his feet barely touching the ground as he flew across the distance to the lake. Archie felt as though he could run forever, he didn't find himself lacking for breath at all and his legs felt light as air. The feeling of running without a brace – Archie paused his thought process for a moment there, not understanding why he didn't have a brace. After a moment he forgot all about it though and not having one seemed like the most natural thing in the world.

As he neared the lake, he noticed Atlanta was already standing in the lake, dripping wet. He was only mildly disappointed at losing, his mind too focused on Atlanta. Her wet dress clung to her body, bringing Archie's mind to places best left unsaid.

"I win," she grinned, chin lifted in triumph. Then her grin turned into a sly smile, and she looked at Archie with a sideways glance. "So what's my prize?" In moments Archie found himself locked in a passionate embrace, and it was the most amazing kiss he had ever had. Fireworks went off in his mind and angels sang Hallelujah.

All of a sudden a deep laugh echoed from within the lake, and Archie's fear of water came crashing down upon him despite its mysterious absence earlier. A giant whirlpool began to swirl beneath his feet and Archie found himself being sucked down.

"Atlanta help!" Archie cried as he was swept away. But Atlanta only laughed, a deep laugh that didn't belong to her. As he was swept away her face morphed, until it wasn't Atlanta standing there, but Cronus. Oddly enough, he was still wearing the white dress that Atlanta had been in, which would have been funny if Archie wasn't so terrified.

All of a sudden Archie landed hard on his back and a groan escaped his lips. He was in a dense forest with fog, and as the fog cleared up he began to notice shapes closing in around him. He leapt up, preparing for defence, but the figures had him completely encircled. The one who Archie assumed was their leader stepped forward.

"We are the knights who say ME!"

Archie's jaw dropped. "Neil?!"

"ME!" Was the only answer the leader gave, and was soon echoed by all those in the circle. Archie glanced around in horror, taking in a circle full of Neils. Everywhere he turned, a blond in armor stared back at him.

"Ok, can I go back to the cross-dressing Titan of Time? This is way worse," Archie muttered.

Leader Neil continued on. "We are the knights who say ME! And you will not pass through this forest alive unless you bring us…"

"Let me guess, a mirror?"

"A shrubbery!" He paused for dramatic effect. "A shrubbery shaped like ME!"

All of a sudden an idea came to Archie on how to beat the Neil Knights. "It!"

A circle full of blue eyes blinked at him in confusion. "Me?" One of them asked hopefully.

"Isn't 'it' a word you can't stand or something?" Archie tried.

"No it is not!" Leader Neil announced proudly. "And you shall never find it out!"

One of the Neils in the circle shrieked and nearly dropped the mirror he was holding. "I have a zit!" All the other Neils immediately gasped and covered their ears as though the word caused them pain.

"Aha!" Archie exclaimed. "Zit! Zit! Zit!" He kept repeating as the circle of Neils broke before him. Next thing he knew, he was running away from the freakish scene, thankful that the Knights Who Say Me were not all that bright.

As he ran, his feet became heavy and he felt as though he were trying to run through honey. Archie was slowing down and no matter how hard he tried pushing himself, he just could not go any faster. Something snaked itself around his ankles, stopping him all together before jerking back and snatching him into the air.

"What took you so long?" A voice came from the shadows. The purple haired teen watched upside down as one furry leg crept into the light, followed by another. There stood Pan, hands on his hips looking at Archie with a look of exasperation.

"Kid, if you want to be a hero then you're going to have to take your training more seriously! You can't go making big goo-goo eyes at every damsel you meet!"

"Uhh…" Archie had no idea how to respond to this.

"There you are Wonderboy," Theresa strolled in, hips swaying. Her hair was up in a high pony tail and she was wearing a long purple dress; Archie couldn't help but think that something was familiar about this messed up scenario.

"Oy vey," Pan rolled his eyes. "Speak of the devil…"

"Theresa, what's going on?" Archie demanded rather snappishly. The fighter crossed her arms and gave him a funny look, one hip jutted out to the side as she scrutinized him.

"You must have hit your head pretty hard back there, _Herc_." The way she said 'his name' sounded like she was mocking him.

"You guys are nuts!" Archie went to pull out his whip, but instead ended up pulling out a fish. "You have got to be kidding me…"

Archie gasped and shot up in bed. He was in his room, and he looked around at all the comforting familiarity. Shaking his head as if to clear it, he got up and made his way down the stairs.

When he got to the kitchen he saw Jay, Herry and Odie were already there. "Guys," he began. "I just had the weirdest dream…"

Without any warning, the three jumped up, arms around each others' shoulders, and burst into song. "I've got a dream! I've got a dreeaam! See I ain't as cruel and vicious as I seem!"

Archie could not believe his luck. "Here we go again."

The trio instantly swapped their song. "Here we go again, I kinda wanna be more than friends…"

"Ok. You guys are really freaking me out," Archie said while backing away.

"Aaahh! Freak out! Le freak, c'est chic!"

Six teens glanced upstairs when they heard a loud thump. It seemed the resident warrior had fallen out of bed. Completely unworried, they continued sipping their coffee, hot chocolate, and eating breakfast.

The heavy steps down the stairs informed them that the final team member planned on joining them for breakfast. Archie walked in with rings under his eyes.

"Archie," Neil began. "Before you sit down, could you get me – " Neil was cut off by a strangled scream from the purple haired youth.

"I'm not getting you a damn shrubbery!" Archie hurried out of the brownstone, saying something about switching to decaff.

"I was just goin to ask for a glass of water," Neil defended. "Sheesh!"

"What was with that?" Herry asked.

"No idea," Atlanta shrugged. After a moment of pause, the heroes went back to their breakfasts.

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Alright, so there's proof I haven't written anything longer than a drabble in ages... not exactly my best work, but hey, I need to practice if I want to get better. Please let me know what you thought with a review :)

Sarcastic Spirit


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